I’ve been tussling with something for a while now.
If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know that I come from an employee experience background. As such, I believe that we should ask employees what they need in order to have a phenomenal career experience, rather than assuming we know what they need and providing that alternative which misses the phenomenality mark.
At the same time, I see myself as an expert in what works in coaching.
But what about the coachee experience?
How do I reconcile my experience of what helps a coachee to do their best thinking with my desire to ask them what they need?
What I am noticing is that coachees say they want something but this is not always what they need in order to do their best thinking.
Let’s look at a few examples:
| Coachees often want…. | I know they do their best thinking when… |
| …to meet in their office, for the sake of convenience | …they are not in their own office environment (because you get new thinking in a new location) |
| …to have back to back meetings, for the sake of efficiency (they may not actually want this, but it is a trap they fall into) | …they have reflection time before and after the coaching session that enables them to get the most learning |
| …to go at the same fast pace in coaching as they go at work, for the sake of getting lots done | …we slow down the pace in order to get to the bottom of the matter – their assumptions, values, beliefs, feelings – so that any changes they decide to make are tackling the root cause |
| …advice, for the sake of speed and ease | …they find solutions that work for them in their context, given their personality, their environment and the people around them |
| …to meet face-to-face because they believe that eye contact and body language are important | …they don’t need to give me eye contact through phone coaching and/or walking coaching |
| …the camera on if we are working virtually | …they (and I) do not get side-tracked by the technology and incoming emails, messages etc |
| …to talk and talk and talk | …I invite them to draw or move or use objects to see things differently |
The tip of the iceberg
I wonder what else you have noticed that coachees want even though it may not be what we know they need to be able to think well.
I tend to explain these things to my coachees, because they don’t know what they don’t know. But it’s all about partnering as we create a contract together, so if they really want something, that’s what we’ll contract for – or we’ll agree that we are not the right fit for each other.
I’m still intrigued to do more research about what the coachee needs. This post has highlighted to me that the questions I should be asking are around what do they need to do their best thinking.
I’d love to know what you think…contact us.
