During this time of change for me, I have been reflecting on my transition. Change is the process; transition is the human, psychological stuff that happens when we go through change – whether that change is self-selected or imposed. All transitions have three stages:
- An ending, a letting go, a feeling of losing something
- The neutral zone
- The new beginning
We cannot make a mental shift into that new beginning until we have let go of the old and been out in the wilderness of discovery (the neutral zone) for a while. I have found the letting go to be difficult. I needed to process what I am losing before I could move forward.
I have been thinking about what I will leave behind if I leave this place. Everyone talks about the people, and there are some very special people in my life here…and I won’t be losing them, as we’ll find new ways of connecting and sharing. I may not see some of them again though, as most of my dearest colleagues and friends are dispersed around the globe – but there is always skype.
Having such a big internal network has made it easier for me to accomplish stuff quickly. I feel as though I’ll be losing that ability, at least in the short-term. But that’s not insurmountable in a new company.
I might lose my coachees and supervisees, who I have been helping to make transformational shifts. But I might not – they might decide to stay in touch through a different contract.
I will lose all the investment I have made into creating the Coaching Network, which feels like a newly birthed child with lots of developmental opportunities. But I know there are other dedicated and committed coaches who will nurture that particular baby. The 30 Day Challenge is getting a good measure of nurturing too, and will continue to change habits at our clients for years to come.
There is something about my identity being left behind. But I know that can’t be true – I am who I am, regardless of where I work. I have 17 years of history here. But it will still be my history. It’s just that so many of my colleagues know and love that identity that I have created, and now I will need to work hard to recreate that brand somewhere else.
I will be losing my internal blog, and all it stands for, but I will be continuing it here.
I will be losing my technology and all that is stored there. That feels really tough to leave my brain behind in my computer, but the capacity to design new innovations to meet another’s business need is going with me. The support I get from CIO is going away, but I’ll be able to find a replacement local support team to do that.
Interesting how much of what I initially thought I would lose is actually going with me, just in a different guise.
Why do I share this? Because sometimes the things we think we will lose hold us back from making the changes we need to make. I have found it hard to break the ties, but having spent time on getting a good ending, I am passing through the no-man’s land of a neutral zone now.
If you are going through a transition yourself, here are some questions you might like to ask yourself:
- What are you losing, as a result of this change?
- What can you pack away in a metaphorical suitcase that you can put on top of your cupboard and pull down when you next need it?
- What can you take with you into your new beginning?
And if you are managing someone else who is going through a transition, DO recognise those losses, and help the other person to mark their passing. It’s this psychological stuff that will help them more than any process changes. DON’T jump too far ahead by assuring them that everything will work out fine – it will, but they aren’t ready for that yet; they are still grieving the loss.
