What’s the connection between the actions that supervisors can take to avoid game-playing, and the actions that supervisees can take?
It’s all about maturity. And by that, I don’t mean being a stuffy, serious adult the whole time – there is definitely room for play (as opposed to game-playing) in the workplace. What I mean is Emotional maturity. You’ve all heard of EQ I expect – Emotional Intelligence. In fact, we ran a series on it last year – see the posts at the bottom.
But Emotional Intelligence is about being self-aware of your own needs, feelings, strengths, development areas; AND it’s about being aware of other people’s needs, feelings, strengths, development areas.
I was reading an article today about how it gets harder, the more senior we become, to be empathetic towards others. Here’s the extract
….”Some recent studies have shown that empathy reduces with more power. Galinsky and colleagues at Kellogg School of Management, found that increased power tends to make one more self-centred and self-assured, but with a propensity to dismiss or misunderstand the views of those more junior. High-power individuals “anchor too heavily on their own perspectives and demonstrate a diminished ability to correctly perceive others’ perspectives,” according to Galinsky and his team, adding that, “As power increases, power-holders are more likely to assume that others’ insights match their own.”
The other recent study, by Canadian researchers, found the same thing by looking at brain activity when people have power. They found that increased power diminishes the ability to be empathic and compassionate because power appears to affect the “mirror system” of the brain, through which one is “wired” to experience what another person is experiencing. Researchers found that even the smallest bit of power shuts down that part of the brain and the ability to empathise with others.”
Extract from Self awareness and EQ: the real indicator of good management
So, although it’s not a good excuse for you to continue to have a low Emotional Quotient as it relates to empathy with others, there is a neuro-scientific reason for it happening!
Also in the field of neuroscience is the SCARF model, researched and published by David Rock. This accounts for some of the game-playing we see in supervisees, as they try to protect themselves, and gives us a framework to provide them with a better environment within which to flourish.
We owe it to our people to give them a feeling of status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness and fairness to ensure they move towards a “reward response” rather than feeling threatened.
If you’ve just discovered this blog, and want to read the back-story about Courageous Conversations, take a look at these past posts.
