We addressed the actions that supervisors can take to move out of game-playing. How about the supervisee? It takes two to make a relationship work, especially if you aspire to it feeling more like a partnership that a dictatorship. Managing upwards can seem counter-cultural, but there’s a real need for both parties to take responsibility for making things better. So supervisees, have courage and adopt some or all of these behaviors.
| The power play | The antidote |
| Protect me/treat me | Be self-aware:Speak up for your own needs and desires, but do not “cry wolf” (eg, don’t constantly play for sympathy). Be prepared for Courageous Conversations |
| What you don’t know won’t hurt me Head it off at the pass | Be responsible:Transparency is key for you too – the more open you are about what’s going on, the more comfortable your supervisor will be that they will not get caught out by their seniors for not knowing what’s going on…and the less likely they are to micro-manage you. |
| Evaluations are not for friends | Be receptive:Treat feedback as a gift, one that can help you to grow. You don’t have to agree with it all, but at least be open to it, and then decide what to do differently, if anything.Seek out feedback from multiple sources. |
| Contract for the relationship. How will you each get the most out of each other. Insist on regular 1-1s and regular feedback – you need the support of your supervisor, in order to make good progress, so do not let them off the hook when they appear to be busy with other things. YOU and YOUR WORK are just as important as their work. |
Ultimately, this is ALL about Courageous Conversations, and that means you need to be self-aware, responsible and receptive. Got that?
Read the previous posts that lead up to this one:
