Coaching unlocks a person’s inner wisdom to guide them towards transformative growth. This blog explores the premise of non-directive coaching and how it empowers the thinker through self-discovery.
What is coaching?
Coaching is a special relationship, unlike any other. It is a meeting of equals, a partnership, where the coach creates a brave space for ‘the thinker’ to do their best thinking.
The premise of non-directive coaching
Non-directive coaching is based on the premise that the thinker is inherently ‘creative, resourceful and whole’ (Whitworth et al). They have the answers within themselves – unique insights and solutions that make sense in the context of their own personality, values and strengths.
Even when two people come to coaching with the same initial request, the pathway forward will be completely different because each thinker and their context is distinct. A coach partners with the thinker to build their capacity for independent, critical thinking. The goal is for them to make empowered decisions whether the coach is present or not.
The term ‘thinker’ conveys that it’s not just intellectual reasoning but the thinker’s whole being – body, emotions, intuition, experiences – that is involved in making meaning, exploring patterns and arriving at breakthrough discoveries about oneself. When thinker and coach join together in earnest reflection, transformational growth occurs from the inside out.
My definition of coaching
My definition of coaching is ‘a joint endeavour to move beyond known thinking to discover new thinking that energises the thinker to change.’
Key elements of my coaching definition
The principal elements of this definition are that coaching:
- is a joint endeavour – a partnership and adult–adult relationship (versus parent-child or master-apprentice)
- moves beyond known thinking – because that known thinking has kept you where you are, and will continue to do so if you stay in that space of known thinking
- discovers new thinking – because this leads to new ways of being and doing
- energises change – the very point of coaching, which makes it different from any other conversations we might have in life.
The type of coach I am
I’m a leadership and transitions coach
- I’m not a performance coach.
- I don’t do the job that a line manager should be doing, enabling thinkers to be better at their job.
- I don’t do the job of a trainer, teaching thinkers how-to.
- I’m not a mentor, sharing my experiences.
- I don’t work with just anyone.
Who I work with as a coach
I work with thinkers to identify who they are, what’s important to them, what they want to be known for, how they want to show up. What they want and need to jettison to become the person and leader they wish to be.
Expectations for the coaching partnership
This means that thinkers need to be willing to go there – to explore their true North and to move away from whatever is holding them back from reaching their full potential as a human being rather than a human doing.
Thinkers must be ready to contemplate what matters most to them and to make some changes in the way they work and live to align with what matters most.
I don’t have a magic wand (nor magical answers).
But I do have powerful questions that will help thinkers to identify what they want from the next chapter of their life and to go after that – if that’s what they want (not what their boss wants, or their partner wants, or their parents want…)
Preparing for the coaching journey
To be sure that we start as we mean to go on, in a worthwhile partnership, I will ask a thinker some searching questions about their goals and intentions for themselves, their work and this coaching.
I expect that they will probe me too, to ensure that we are a good fit for their learning and thinking styles.
We’ll reach a mutual agreement to work together, matching the thinker’s desire to become more of the human they wish to be with my very human coaching skills.
Only then, once the thinker and I have decided that this is a relationship that can work for both of us, will we sketch out how to work together to get the most from the coaching, given all that we know about each other.
Thinkers, be prepared for a state of deepening awareness.
