I had a flash of enlightenment last week, in conversation with another coach. (As a side note, that just shows the power of conversation to prompt aha moments). I realised that I am strongest in my auditory sense – hearing – as compared with my visual or kinesthetic senses. This explains a lot. It explains why I prefer virtual coaching for a start. I can listen so intently that I can hear things that are not said, I can hear the emotions beneath the surface, and I can hear whether my coachee is smiling or thinking.
As we were discussing this, I also realised that this auditory predisposition would explain why I studied languages at University, why I like the quiet of my work environment at home with no noisy distractions, why I love singing, and why some songs can mean so much to me.
So there was I preaching to you to listen more intently on the phone, when you are coaching virtually. Telling you that it’s the same skill as when you coach face-to-face, but that you only have that one sense to rely on, without the visual cues. But those of you who are visual or kinesthetic will have a much harder time at managing people virtually.
That said it’s not impossible to raise your auditory game. One of the things my conversation buddy said she does to increase her auditory skills is to sit and listen for a few minutes each day to what is going on around her. Like the rustle of leaves, or the birds, or the creaks in her house, or the dog snuffling. Really noticing those background noises more intently. And she says it has worked – she now hears much more when coaching virtually.
Try it. Let us know what happens.
I tried it and the things I heard from the workmen that were fixing the road sign outside my window! I had such a laugh. Surely it could be counted as therapy!
Funny Tanya. Maybe today you can hear the leaves rustling, as there is so much wind.