Until about 4 weeks ago, I was holding off on having conversations about what I really want from my next role, so that I could be completely clear with people what I am looking for. As my friend says, I was trying to get my ducks all in a row.
The trouble with that approach, I now discover, is that I have been missing out on information that I can learn from those conversations that might actually help me to better formulate what I do and do not want in a role and from an organization. So my new mantra has been to have more conversations with anyone who might have something useful to tell me.
How do I gauge how useful the conversations are going to be and whether the time is a wise investment? Well, that’s a tricky one too, because the people who I thought would have less insights have turned out to be really helpful…and some people I thought would shed more light on the situation for me have not been. So in addition to having more conversations, my mantra is to have conversations with many people, and not limit it to people I think might be helpful.
Here’s what has held me back though…in my role, and with the visibility of my blog, I have often had people (some who I know, some not) ask for time in my diary to talk about their career. On the one hand, I have wanted to help, but on the other, I had to focus on the priorities of my day-job. So I have worried that people I want to talk to might feel the same, that I am taking up their precious time, wanting to talk about me and my needs. Another friend encouraged me to reframe that and know that I also add value for them in that conversation.
I’ve discovered a good way to get over that, and I am now using it in all my conversations. I ask at the start of the conversation what would be a useful outcome for them; and I will also articulate much more clearly the outcome that I would like to leave the conversation with. I have also realised that I need to give them more context about how far I have come in my exploration, so they know not to go back to the beginning, but to start from where I am at.
What are your thoughts about the best times to have career conversations, and how to frame them?
Hi Clare,
I’m not gonna answer to your question but I came recently across a woman who is doing an incredible job and who is really inspiring for me (I’m reading her book, the gifts of imperfections right now). Hope it would be helpful for you too !
The TED talk that made me dig deeper
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability
Her blog:
http://brenebrown.com/
Have a nice day !
Ines 🙂
Clare- It has been very refreshing to follow your blogs over the past few months! Keith Ferrazi has a great perspective on “leading with generosity” which to me has always meant embarking on our relationships with an attitude of what you can do to help someone else without the expectation that they do something for you in return but with the knowledge that reciprocation is a natural state of healthy relationships. I know that you have led with genorisity when helping others so I would encourage you not to be afraid to leverage those relationships in your search and even create new ones knowing that perhaps it is you that need them now but knowing that in the future it will more than likely be reciprocated. Have confidence- most people want to help you (even those that have never met you)! Me included- so don’t hesitate to ask for what you need when you need it.