Trust and the conversation gap

We’ve been talking about conversation gaps, and using Two-Day (22/2/2012) to fill those conversation gaps.  If you’ve missed the previous blogs about this, catch up here:

What will you do to celebrate Two-Day

What is a Conversation Gap?

Which conversations are most “gappy”?

 

One of the reasons that there may be a gap in conversations is to do with trust.  So scheduling the meeting may not be all that’s necessary to get people to open up.  It’s a good start though.

So how do you build trust in order that people feel they can open up to you?

I watched this video by Gregg Thompson the other day, and he suggested a question as the way to build trust.  His perspective is that we have to earn the right to coachothers.  And earning that right will look different for every unique individual.  There is no cookie cutter answer. 

That question is:

“What can I do to earn the right to offer you coaching?” 

I love this question for two reasons:

1. It’s a question!  It stops you from assuming that you know the answer that is in the other person’s head.  Ask them what THEY need.

2. We cannot force coaching on other people; they have to want it. 

So while I have encouraged you to set up meetings for Two-Day, forcing the conversation on that day could be more damaging if you don’t build trust first.  Start with this question and work from there. 

And remember that trust takes time, and commitment to doing what they ask from you to earn the right to coach them.