We coach the person, not the problem (Franklin 2019, Reynolds 2020), meaning we focus on “who” the thinker wishes to be at an identity level, such that they can “do” things that match up to this person they wish to be, coming from a place of grounded beliefs, values and mindsets.
To coach the person, we use a vertical (challenging old assumptions and testing new hypotheses of being) development approach rather than horizontal (building task expertise) (Petrie, 2014).
Don’t be surprised if your coach asks you questions about who you wish to be in a situation, even if you have brought a “problem” to solve. You see, you could work at a surface level to figure out what to do, but if you have not also looked at your beliefs and values, you may find that you slip back to old habits that are guided by those old beliefs. The actions are not sustainable over the long run if you don’t slow down to explore the territory of beliefs and values.
So be prepared to do the deeper work of who you are, what and who is important to you, and what values are non-negotiable for you, as these will all guide you to answers that are more aligned with the person you wish to be and the new beliefs and values that you wish to adopt.
You may feel that it will be faster to get to actions if you focus on the problem, and that may be true. But it’s slower in the long run as you will need more coaching to help you to stick with those actions that were never fully aligned with what you believe in in the first place. Anyway, if you explore the territory for longer, you will be surprised at how quickly ideas come to mind in the last few minutes of a session that you might never have discovered had you rushed to action planning.
You may also find it more “comfortable” to stick with the problem rather than working on yourself. But coaching is not about being in your comfort zone; it is about stretching you to new places, new thoughts, and new ideas that are at the edge of your comfort zone or maybe just a little outside of it. You’ll be much more satisfied with the enduring results, if you choose to work on your being, not just your doing.
