Curiosity is for the benefit of the thinker’s new thinking, not the coach’s understanding.
When your coach asks you a question, there is no “one right answer” and nor should they be asking you questions that fill them in on the detail [see previous blog]. They are asking you for your own benefit, to get you to new thinking. Their questions should provoke curiosity in you to explore your thoughts further and deeper. So don’t feel that you need to say what you think they want to hear – because what they really want to hear is what you really think.
So come to coaching, prepared to be honest with yourself and your coach. You are doing yourself a disservice by giving the coach anything other than your real answer, your best thinking, your truth.
I realise that there may be some shame attached to what you really think. But you won’t be judged. Your coach is not there to compare you to others, nor to judge the “correctness” of your thinking. This is your time to be vulnerable and tell yourself your truth. You will have a confidentiality contract with your coach, so you don’t need to worry about them blabbing about what you think to others. That’s not the deal here.
Be curious with your coach. Follow your train of thought to get to the bottom of it. Pose your own questions back to yourself. Be curious about root causes, your beliefs (limiting or otherwise), your values, connections and anything else that would serve you to truly understand yourself. Coaching is as much about who you are as it is about what you decide to do. So be curious, with the help of your coach or without, about the person you wish to become.
