I’ve admitted to a few fears and insecurities in the last few blog posts:
Five Great Fears and Boundless Friendliness
Learning and Growing Outside of your Comfort Zone
Some people might be aghast at that. “There’s no place for vulnerability in the workplace. Stiff upper-lip and all that”. I don’t agree.
We are all human. And every one of us has doubts, albeit often hidden to the world. Why not be authentic and real? It can open the way to others being equally authentic, and that leads to much more transparent relationships and leadership.
The question is…when is it appropriate to share those doubts?
Of course, you choose who you share your vulnerability with – someone you trust, someone who won’t hold it against you, someone who is non-judgmental. You also choose the context within which you share. So you wouldn’t go out of your way to show fear in a meeting with a client for example (although it might leak out, if it is there, even as you try to hide it). But you need to be able to express that somewhere, to someone, in order to get the support you need to talk it through and learn from it.
Research from Career Innovation found that despite plentiful conversations going on in the workplace, “four in every ten respondents said they still have a topic they would like to raise with their manager, but are not doing so”. Career Innovation calls this the ‘conversation gap’.
“A close look at the data reveals the huge impact of this gap. People with a topic to raise are less satisfied, less engaged and much more likely to be planning to leave”.
So you see how important it is to have conversations with people who can help you – voicing your insecurities and doubts, your hopes too. The more a manager (or someone else who you trust) understands who you are and what is important to you, warts and all, the more he or she can help you to chart a course that’s right for you.
I believe this is the missing link in managing performance (our own and others’). It’s a vital link that needs to be addressed, but right now, we’re brushing emotions under the carpet. Dangerous move. They’ll come back to bite us later on, when we least expect it.
So no, I don’t think I have said too much. I hope that my vulnerability will enable you to identify your own fears and doubts, and then to talk those through with someone who can help you to move forward.
What are your thoughts?
