As we ponder derailers further, let’s turn our attention to something called Thinking Traps. These are ways of thinking that can keep us trapped in unhelpful patterns. You may not be aware that you fall into one or more of these traps, but working with a coach (or therapist, depending on what you are working on) might help you to spot them – and to make changes that will help you to get out of the trap and make more of life.
See if you recognise yourself in any of the following:
| Thinking Trap | Description | Replacement thought |
| All-or-nothing thinking | Seeing everything as black or white, eg, “I lost my job. I am a complete failure at everything”. | Life is full of imperfect situations. This shall pass and I will find something better. |
| Mind-reading | Jumping to the conclusion that someone is thinking the worst about you, even though you have no evidence of that | I can’t read minds. If I want to know what someone is thinking, I can ask. |
| Fortune-telling | Predicting what will happen ahead of time, such as “I’m going to fail this exam today” | I cannot predict the future. |
| Labelling | Labelling yourself or others as, for example, lazy or stupid or a failure (often after just one event) | There’s no need to judge myself nor others |
| Emotional reasoning | Believing something to be true as a result of the emotion you feel, for example, “I feel useless, therefore I am useless” | My feelings offer me insights, but they are not necessarily evidence of reality |
| Shoulds/shouldn’ts
Musts/mustn’ts |
Often come from what you believe others think you should or should not do or be | I can decide for myself what I wish to do or not do/be or not be |
| Personalisation | Taking responsibility for something that is not necessarily yours to feel responsible for, such as a leader blaming themselves for something out of their control | No-one is to blame here
The system may need to be adjusted though to rectify the issue at a macro level |
| Blaming | Putting all the responsibility on someone else, when we contribute in some way too | What is my part of the problem here? And what is theirs? |
| Catastrophising | Assuming the worst possible outcome; or feeling the worst possible feeling when something is uncomfortable | It is what it is/will be what it will be, no more and no less |
| Overgeneralisation | Often includes words like never, always, every, for example, “this always happens to me” | It’s entirely possible that something different will happen next time |
| Minimising | Making oneself or one’s achievements insignificant by minimising them, eg, “it was nothing” | I can honour my strengths and achievements and not take away from anyone else’s strengths and achievements |
Think about the way you speak in normal conversation. Or perhaps you don’t say them out loud, but think them. Do you spot yourself doing/thinking any of these? How might it help you if you were to embrace the replacement thoughts?
If you suspect that one or more of these is your pattern, ask your coach to look out for tell-tale signs and to challenge you each time you use them. Over time, you will be able to stop yourself before you even think them, let alone say them out loud.
Ellis, Albert (1957). “Rational Psychotherapy and Individual Psychology”. Journal of Individual Psychology. 13: 42.
Beck, Aaron T. (1972). Depression; Causes and Treatment. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press. ISBN 978-0-8122-7652-7.
