A different kind of resilience

This blog post comes from a coaching friend of mine, Penny Gundry.  She specialises in resilience, and in conversation the other day, we were talking about how there are periods in our lives when we have lots of energy and can push ourselves, and there are times when we have so much “stuff” going on in our lives that we need to give ourselves some slack.  This was great advice for me over the Summer when my father-in-law died and one of my dogs was ill.  I was trying to keep going as normal, but it just wasn’t the time to be pushing myself too hard.  I’m (I think) through that low patch now, and have more energy to get stuck in at work and home.  So as you read Penny’s post, think about your own energy levels and whether you might need to take your foot off the gas a little – I know that organizations demand that we are firing on all cylinders, but let’s be realistic, we are all human, and we sometimes need to go a little – or much – slower to build our resilience again.  My team-mates and I are taking some retreat time over the next couple of days to really listen to ourselves and our needs for the coming year.

Penny writes:

Life is a funny thing: we arrive and time passes us by. Then we wonder what happened, where did it all go? Why did we spend so much of our time thinking something was important when it wasn’t? Or worrying about things that ended up as nothing?

What makes a person resilient?  Some people seem to have it all and others lack it. Or do they? What if resilience had a few different guises and some surprising ones that we hardly recognise?

We are living in changing times. It used to be enough to work hard, get noticed, play the right strategy game, but now I am not so sure. I have been working in Ireland for the last few years and have seen an economic recession that has defeated even the strongest; businesses closing, debt rising and opportunities folding.  People used to chop and change to rise to the top, taking risks, stating their price. Those days are gone in Ireland. But who comes out the most resilient? I noticed people who had a nice lifestyle and the confidence to go with it but when things crumbled and the normal channels of success no longer worked, they crumbled not knowing which way to turn.  Before, all they needed to do was try hard, knock on a few doors, but now those doors are firmly closed.

But there is another kind of resilience emerging from an unlikely quarter. It tells us that some things don’t matter as much as we think. There is a time to succeed and a time to sit back. If we don’t constantly rise up through the ranks, does it really matter? What is important? This resilience takes note of the ups and downs in life with interest. The ups are just ups the downs are just downs. They are what they are, neither good nor bad. This type of resilience takes us as we are, in sickness and in health for better or for worse. There is no more labelling.  We lose a business opportunity, a promotion; interesting, it is time to do something different, perhaps sit for a while and recuperate. When this resilience hears: ‘you can’t do that, you won’t earn enough, be respected enough, have the lifestyle you want,’ it says perhaps not. It watches and waits for a time when we are quiet enough to listen and then says stay a moment; take time to reflect on what really matters and let go of that which is false.

It is who we are not what we do that makes us resilient.

Penny Gundry Author of Glimmers of Light Dancing A Fable for Our Times

Twitter @pennygundry

www.pennygundry.com